I found out that I am pregnant with my third child – all from my husband, he is not interested in the pregnancy and wants me to abort. It feels like I am having a panic attack just thinking about it.
Our finances are really tight and I do understand his point of view however, I have no idea how I am going to get over this hurdle… I also dont want him to resent me for the rest of my life…
Please help!
Hi JG,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I am truly ecstatic for you that you have decided to keep your baby. I know that GOD has a plan for this little one and that he will bless you both. I pray that GOD will protect this little miracle growing inside of you and that he will be born healthy and that you will be healthy throughout your pregnancy.
Continue to bond with your other little children and include them in your pregnancy.
Don’t ever think that you have made the wrong decision. Your husband will come round cause happiness is infectious and children bring loads of happiness.
Blessings!
Hello Ladies
So I have decided not to abort, bought all my preggie vitamins and looking forward to the pregnancy… I always put hubby and the kids first in everything that I do, this time I made a decision for me!!!
To all the Christian ladies who gave hope with your messages, it is much appreciated and at the end of the day you are all right, God will never give me anything that he knows I cannot handle.
Hubby is so so, the pregnancy is kind of a taboo subject at the moment, but I think with time and a bit of space he will be ok…
So far, I have severe hotflushes and nausea in the later afternoon / evening but I am sure that will pass soon.
My first doctor’s appointment is on Monday…
and according to the due date calendar, my due date is on the 9th of October 2012…
Good !! with your hubby do not worry but take everything slow and take care of yourself. ENJOY!!!!!!!!! You are not alone , I’m also pregnant with my 3rd child and due in August.
That’s so exciting, congratulations on your pregnancy JD!! Good luck with the nausea… before you know it you’ll be in the 2nd trimester.
Also thinking about your husband and praying that he’ll also get excited about the little new life!
xx
HI JG,
well then, a Congratulations seems to be in order then! I’ve only just read everyone’s posts after my first comment on Tuesday – now that I’ve read your background on this, would definitely also have been scared out of my wits about the large probability of this backfiring.
It took immense courage to share such a ‘sensitive topic’ with us, and at the risk of opening a different can of worms, very proud of the majority of commenting moms, who chose to keep their personal beliefs to themselves in favor of supporting you with a choice that was weighing so heavily on on your non-deserving shoulders:-)
Keep well, and keep us up to date with how your pregnancy progresses!
Amen to that Sophia!!!!
Ai, JD, really thinking about you. And I pray that God make wonderful things happen in your life – I believe in a God who heals and he can also heal the hurt and sorrow from the loss and trauma of the previous birth. My prayers are with you, your husband and your beautiful kids. xxx
One thing for sure is that God does not give you a problem you cannot handle.
Thank you for all the advice and warm welcome that you ladies have shown. I have drawn comfort from your words and advice.
Ellen, its very unsensitive to judge, especially if you do not know the full circumstances. My husband and I have two children, the last born, is one of a twin. We lost one twin and our son was born at 29 weeks. This was a very difficult time for us and the emotional scarring that paired with that will never go away. The doctor advised that we have a 50% chance of conceiving twins again so that fear of having a prem and sick baby again and /or a complicated pregnancy also strikes fear into both of us which also influences his desire for the abortion.
As much as I understand your point of view, I definately did not join the forum to be judged in anyway.
Dan is die mammas beter wat die klein wonderwerk n kans gee op n lewe en aannemening oorweeg as om moord te pleeg.
Ek is geskok om onderwerpe te lees oor sommer so maklik te vra oor aborsie. As iemand nie weet wat dit is om onvrugbaar te wees nie kan n persoon dalk sulke vrae en antwoorde verwag. Daar is duisende produkte, pille op die mark oor voorkoming van swangerskappe. Ek is sommer nou hewig ontstelt. Gaan op jou knie en se baie baie dankie Jesus vir die vooreg wat ek het om swanger te kan raak wat ek sommer net so van self sprekend aanvaar. Weet julle hoeveel ouers is daar van smag om n babatjie te kan vertroetel en te versorg. Dit is so erg dat die lyste van die staat vol is van ouers wat wag op n babatjie, Dat daar mense is wat tot 6- 7 jaar op die lyste is en nog steeds elke dag en nag wag angstig om iets te hoor. Is daar dalk vir hulle ook n babatjie ooppad en is hulle dalk volgende op die lys. So gaan op julle knie en se baie baie dankie Jesus vir die wonderwerkie. In die bybel staan nog voor jou gebore is het ek jou op jou naam geroep. Wie gee enige iemand die reg om n aborsie te doen. Jammer maar dit is moord maak nie saak of dit op n week of op n maand of wanneer nie.
Hi Ellen, I understand you’re coming from a very specific point of view and we welcome everyone’s views, but do ask that, whatever your beliefs, that you convey these in a supportive, positive manner. JD is obviously going through a very tough time and rejecting her won’t help much
Thanks for your input though, I’m sure you meant it well. S xxx
My love your case is sensetive but u a one of us now. Just note that whatever we say or write is not what you must do but do consider before u take your decision. If you are a christian please pray hard just ask God to help you and your husband. Just remember that the child is God’s will and whatever situation u are facing is God’s will. So just leave everything to him , maybe there is a big reward that God wants to give to u only and only if u make a right decision. so just aks hime what will be the right decision for you and your hubby.
Stay blessed.
Hi JG,
my sincerest sympathies for being faced with such a difficult decision. It remains a deeply personal choice, for which no one can be your judge or jury.
I understand your point that you don’t want your husband’s resentment for the rest of your married life together, but also know if termination is NOT your choice (and you go through with it anyway) you will resent him for the rest of your life too. This is just as unfair.
I would definitely suggest you get some counseling with your husband and work through your feelings together, this is not a choice to be made lightly (even if finances are tight) so please see if you can get to a marriage councilor soon.
I suppose there are valid reasons in this world that would make you choose to terminate, however I personally don’t see finances as one of them! With every child we bring into this world, we always worry about money to care adequately for them…and realise at the end that even though we’re feeding an extra mouth, there still seems to be enough to go around!
A comment from one of the other M2M’s has always stayed with me “A child is born in this world with his own money!” and I tend to think it’s quite true.
Once again, so sorry you are in this position, but truly pray you two can reach a unified decision where you both are at peace with it. My prayers are with you:-)
It is an extremely sensitive issue and I can only empathize with the difficult position you find yourself in. My personal philosophy is that there are no ‘RIGHT’ or ‘WRONG’ answers to life as each of us has our own unique belief systems depending on our programming (education, religion, geographical location et al).
As it is YOUR body I believe that no one can tell you how you should treat it, my only advice would be to find the most supportive person you have in your circle of family or friends and ask them to share this experience with you. At least until your husband remembers the “for better or worse” part of your vows.
What ever decision you make remember you are making it with the best intentions and using the best resources you have RIGHT NOW. Things will change, time will pass and there will always be the “what if’s?” in life. We cannot control everything but we can control our responses to each experience we have.
Just know that you are loved and supported no matter what you decide. The people who matter won’t mind what decision you make, and the people who mind shouldn’t matter. I get so irate when the zealots jump on their soap box to criticize and condemn when they themselves are guilty of making mistakes in life. It happens, you will get over it. What ever ‘it’ turns out to be.
Best of luck with your decision.